A client of mine had undergone an operation of his shoulder two weeks ago from the date of this post. When I saw him, he said something that inspired me to write this. He said "I still have the sling in the car. When I go out into the shops in the high street, I still put it on. When people see me with it, they move away. I don't wanna get it bumped into just yet." Apart from the fact that he was referring to his motivation away from having the healing process disturbed by an accidental knock from someone, he [without realizing it?] highlighted another important principle which I'll touch on deeper here.
And similar statements from folks in wheelchairs or with other disabilities I've heard in the course of my work include examples like this: "We're going to the O2 [former Millennium Dome in London UK, now a concert venue]. We'll take the wheelchair. That way we'll get the front seats." So this brings home the NLP principles that every behavior is purposeful, demonstrates a belief, and has a positive intention.
"Funny" how every person in a wheelchair I have ever spoken to has told me how s/he'd love to walk again and how much more liberated his/her life would be then. Yet, the statements that come out of their mouths on the other end of the continuum fly right in the face of all this. So how come? What's the positive intention of all this?
And how does what I've said above connect with learning difficulties? Well, just tell a dyslexic student that s/he will get extra time during exams - and watch his/her reaction! So this is what labels [labels = "I'm x" or "I have x"] do. The extra time during exams will not, of course, add any benefit to this student, because once told s/he will get it, s/he will adapt his/her thinking and working tempo to the extra time which will result in the same end result - gotten to in a longer time span. So the extra time will actually add the opposite of benefit to the student, if we only look at the fact that all other students have now left the room to do something more pleasurable in their lives...And there are other people here who will experience the same disbenefit - such as the invigilators, teachers, or school janitor...they all have to stay around a half hour longer! The extra time would add benefit only in case if our student didn't adapt [adapt = slow down] his/her think-and-work pace to the extra time and was thus able to produce more as to the quality and quantity of the result. But because of our beautifully fast ability to adapt, this doesn't happen.
So labels give us security and denote our comfort zone [boundaries]. Labels also encourage us to be lazier and more complacent with ourselves. Does this sound harsh? Maybe. But it won't change reality. Labels also give us a blanket of explanation. Now that we know that we're dyslexic, we can finally justify why we've had words bouncing around the page all our life! And very importantly, labels very often make others pay more attention to us than they would if we were just like them. Labels are static: 'I'm x' or 'I have x'. It's in the language. Labels are static. And static things give the impression that they can't be changed = will stay the way they are for the rest of our lives. And this is the root of all the above, because once something can't be changed, where's our need to question it?
So how's all this food for thought? How would the world change if people who are having difficulties of any kind started addressing their fears of changing for the better? How would the world be if mainstream education stopped tiptoeing around people with learning difficulties and started working with rather than around them? Would it make differences? I firmly believe it would!
And similar statements from folks in wheelchairs or with other disabilities I've heard in the course of my work include examples like this: "We're going to the O2 [former Millennium Dome in London UK, now a concert venue]. We'll take the wheelchair. That way we'll get the front seats." So this brings home the NLP principles that every behavior is purposeful, demonstrates a belief, and has a positive intention.
"Funny" how every person in a wheelchair I have ever spoken to has told me how s/he'd love to walk again and how much more liberated his/her life would be then. Yet, the statements that come out of their mouths on the other end of the continuum fly right in the face of all this. So how come? What's the positive intention of all this?
And how does what I've said above connect with learning difficulties? Well, just tell a dyslexic student that s/he will get extra time during exams - and watch his/her reaction! So this is what labels [labels = "I'm x" or "I have x"] do. The extra time during exams will not, of course, add any benefit to this student, because once told s/he will get it, s/he will adapt his/her thinking and working tempo to the extra time which will result in the same end result - gotten to in a longer time span. So the extra time will actually add the opposite of benefit to the student, if we only look at the fact that all other students have now left the room to do something more pleasurable in their lives...And there are other people here who will experience the same disbenefit - such as the invigilators, teachers, or school janitor...they all have to stay around a half hour longer! The extra time would add benefit only in case if our student didn't adapt [adapt = slow down] his/her think-and-work pace to the extra time and was thus able to produce more as to the quality and quantity of the result. But because of our beautifully fast ability to adapt, this doesn't happen.
So labels give us security and denote our comfort zone [boundaries]. Labels also encourage us to be lazier and more complacent with ourselves. Does this sound harsh? Maybe. But it won't change reality. Labels also give us a blanket of explanation. Now that we know that we're dyslexic, we can finally justify why we've had words bouncing around the page all our life! And very importantly, labels very often make others pay more attention to us than they would if we were just like them. Labels are static: 'I'm x' or 'I have x'. It's in the language. Labels are static. And static things give the impression that they can't be changed = will stay the way they are for the rest of our lives. And this is the root of all the above, because once something can't be changed, where's our need to question it?
So how's all this food for thought? How would the world change if people who are having difficulties of any kind started addressing their fears of changing for the better? How would the world be if mainstream education stopped tiptoeing around people with learning difficulties and started working with rather than around them? Would it make differences? I firmly believe it would!
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